Author - Toby Hughes

Scottish people playing Call Of Duty

This may be one of the funniest Call Of Duty videos on the internet. Thanks to MarleyThirteen, this video is absolutely golden. Everything about it is pure Scottish and will surely be an enjoyable watch. Enjoy…

 

 

Make sure you checkout MarleyThirteen on Facebook and of course, YouTube.

Funniest Scottish phrases translated to understandable English

Sometimes, the phrases that the Scots say just do not make sense for the rest of the English speaking people, so here we have translated some of the funniest Scottish slang phrases.

1. “Am ah gettin’ ma hole?”

icon for Sex

So for anyone that doesn’t know what this means, it’s a Scottish way of saying “Are we going to have sex?”

 

2. “Bawbag”

Nuts

 

Bawbag simply means scrotum.

 

3. “Dozy cunt”

David C

Dozy cunt means idiot, but I think a picture of David Cameron fits better. I mean Dozy Cunt and David Cameron. They both start with D and C! Perfect

 

4. “Fuck ye dain?”

WTFAYD

This picture of Will perfectly fits this phrase. What the fuck are you doing?

5. “Glakit Cunt”

DT

Again, we have used a picture to describe the slang, Stupid looking cunt.

 

6. “Go take a running fuck at a rolling doughnut”

persuaded

This lengthy phrase means, I’m not persuaded of your argument.

7. “Up yer erse wi’ it”

Mr T

When someone you hate voices their opinion, you can say it like a Scot and you will be meaning ‘Feel free to shove it up your arse’.

8. “cludgie”

toilet

This one is simple, it is a shitter, crapper, toilet.

9. “gawn giese fuckin peace”

Shhh

This one is one of my favourites! it means please be quiet.

10. “get tae fuck”

SONY DSC

This one is pretty straight forward and probably used most frequently, it means ‘Fuck Off”.

 

So there you have it, some of the most common Scottish slang/phrases translated into understandable English. I would say translated to English but I don’t think that would go down well…

12 Tweets the perfectly explain the weather in Scotland

These 12 tweets perfectly explain the weather in Scotland. These tweets are pretty much perfect and anyone living in Scotland will agree…

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So yeah, the weather from Scotland is pretty shite as you could gather from these tweets. Still, if you hate the sun, then Scotland is perfect for you!

Giant ‘fireball’ spotted over Scotland

A “fireball”, spotted over Scotland on February 29, reportedly caused homes to shake and prompted a large number of phone calls to the police. People claimed to see the flash from Inverness-shire, Aberdeenshire and Pertshire. The event is suspected to have happened during a meteor shower.This video shows the flash from a car’s dashcam.

Credit: Chris Scholes

 

Scottish stereotypes that Scots are tired of seeing

Some of these stereotypes are just plain annoying. Sometimes it makes me wonder where the stereotypes even come from, anyway, here they are…

 

1. All women in Scotland have red hair

W1

Here’s an example based off the movie ‘Brave’. No, not every girl has red hair

 

2. Men always wear kilts, regardless of the circumstances

W2

Regardless of the weather, situation or historical events, for some reasons Scots are always displayed as wearing kilts.

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3. Men are always drunk

W3

Much like this guy, Scots are always thought to be drunk, which could actually very well be true.

4. All men can play the bagpipes

W4

The bagpipes are very hard to play and no, a lot of Scots cannot play them.

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5. You can’t leave the house without attending the Highland Games

W5

As much as we all love the Highland Games, we don’t always go.

6. Sheep are always in the wayW6

No. We do not have wild sheep roaming around everywhere.

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7. Scotland is only MountainousW7

As displayed by this scene from James Bond, Scotland has beautiful mountains, but we also have some sh*tpits.

8. Scots are obsessed with fighting

SPT_GCK_130310_RBS Six Nations Championship, Scotland V England, Picture Graham Chadwick, Dylan Hartley and Ross Ford fight

Yes we do have a backbone, but we don’t always resort to violence.

 

9. Scots put on blue paint and scream about freedom

W9

This is displayed in many movies, braveheart and Brave are good examples but no, we do not do this…

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10. Scottish people don’t speak English

W10

Yes, Scots have a unique way of speaking and writing but it is still technically English, although you may have to ask them to repeat a few times.

 

So there we have it, these are 10 of the most popular Scottish stereotypes that Scots are used to hearing.

The Scots against ISIS through the internet

Islamic State is going to wish it never existed after the Scots get involved.

By Scots we mean a few people on social media who have offered to take care of the terrorist group the only way people north of the border can.

T1

‘Isis come to Edinburgh and I’ll kick your f***ing c**t in. Lovely from the lad…

 

Another Scot was surprised by the story Isis fighters could be high on drugs.

‘Aye that’s it Isis are all heavy oot their nuts havin hard to hearts n blasting techno, get tae f*** facebook,’ wrote @ronnoclligam.

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It’s not the first time Scots have offered out the terrorists.

Following a report a woman known as Mrs Terror could be headed there earlier this year someone replied with the words: ‘Mon then ya cow’.

 

Someone also felt the need to put this sign up…

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That should scare them away!

If there is a message to get from this, it’s that you do not mess with the Scots, they are brutal.

 

This is what Scottish things looks like according to google

Before anyone gets too serious about this post, all searches done were based on using the words ‘Scottish man’ to search for a man or something like ‘Scottish child’. Please do not take this seriously, it’s a bit of fun!

All these photos are representations of Scotland according to Google Images…

 

1. This is what Scottish people look like…

A pro-independence supporter with a Saltire flag and a "Yes" written on his body joins a march and rally in Edinburgh on September 21, 2013 in support of a yes vote in the Scottish Referendum to be held in September 2014. Voting for Scottish independence is "common sense", First Minister Alex Salmond, the leader of the movement to break away from the United Kingdom insisted on September 18 a year to the day before Scotland votes in a referendum. AFP PHOTO / ANDY BUCHANAN        (Photo credit should read Andy Buchanan/AFP/Getty Images)

Pretty stereotypical, I know.

2. Scottish Man

Man

To be fair, I think this is almost expected.

3. Scottish women

Girl

Very stereotypical again, orange hair. What are you playing at google?

4. Scottish actor

Actor

This is better. One of my all time favourite Scots! Just under Sir Alex of course…

5. Scottish food

Food

This one was more interesting. I was expecting Haggis or something along those lines.

6. Scottish banter

Banter

This one was absolute class!

7. Scottish cat

Cat

Not what I was expected. I was looking more along the lines for something like Puss in Boots. Just without the boots, hat and sword…

8. Scottish idiot

idiot

Well look who it is, Gordon Brown.

9. Scottish drink

scottish drink

I think 99% of Scots drink this!

10. Scottish Beauty

Beauty

I think we can all admire this one!

11. Scottish Ugly

BLACKBURN, UNITED KINGDOM - APRIL 21:  Susan Boyle returns to her home in Blackburn, West Lothian on April 21, 2009 in Blackburn, Scotland. The 47-year-old has become a worldwide phenomenon after her rendition of the Les Miserables song 'I Dreamed a Dream' on the UK TV show 'Britain's Got Talent'.  (Photo by Jeff J Mitchell/Getty Images)

Well well, Susan Boyle is displayed when you search ‘Scottish Ugly!’

12. The last one I searched one word, Scottish.

Scottish

So there we go, this is the first post (after a Scottish Flag) that comes up when you search Scottish. Very nice for any foreign people wanting to see Scotland on the internet.

Well there we have it. This was Scotland, in google’s eyes.

16 Tweets that perfectly sum up #GrowingUpScottish

#GrowingUpScottish is trending on Twitter, and amongst the chat about Irn Bru and miserable weather, there are some hilarious tweets about the stark reality of growing up in Scotland. Here are 16 of our favourite!

 

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How many of these can you relate to?

12 times Scottish people made Facebook a little bit funnier

I think Scottish people win at the internet.

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F1

Well done Dad!

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2.

F12

Ummm, I dunno, maybe a fire?

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3.

F11

Thank you for clarifying that. I was just about to as you.

4.

F9

That comment! To be fair, he’s probably right…

5.

F8

Ooooo Stacey! Haven’t raised ya daughter too well have we?

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6.

F7

Ahh yes, lovely. Wallpaper should do the trick.

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F6

F13

Yes Caroline that is horrible. But quite funny as well.

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8.

F5

That has to be one of the best comments ever!

9.

F4

How to decide whether to accept someone on facebook: See if he gets egged or not…

10.

 

F2

Don’t worry, it’s only court. Im sure they will understand.

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12.

F3

Lesson: Be patient.

 

So there we go, 12 times that Scots certainly won at the internet.